I feel like I am searching for an answer that cannot be found

and a life that can’t exist for me. 

long time...no talky

I thank God everyday that I have the ability to fake being numb.

Wow, so much is new…hmmm…

Mom is getting married,

I have not even met my new step-brother

Clint broke up with me (and possible has a new girlfriend),

I am leaving Topeka and all my friends,

I am no longer going to be attended a private school but a public,

I miss my friends in Missouri terribly,

I am moving to TX (I’m gonna be kinda close to Cltin..ironic huh?)

ETC ETC……………………………………………………………

And oh yea…all this is happening NEXT MONTH. *prayers*

There is so much more going on but I don’t feel like thinking about it all. AHHH

Psalm 150:6
Let every thing that hath breath praise the LORD. Praise ye the LORD.

Hey guys~

I am so sorry that I will not be posting about my relationship stuff today. But I need help by some prayer warriors…

1)      Clint and I *that out relationship would be what God wants

2)      My mom *she has been crying a lot lately b/c of my dad

3)      School starting *Next Monday and I have to write an 8 page essay *HELP*

4)      My sister *being immature and yelling at me a lot

5)      My brother *trying to loose weight

6)      ME *not sleeping very well and healthy weight loss

7)      My dad *not saved

8)      Lizzy *spiritual journey

9)      Anna *needs God in her life

Well, that is just some of them….dont feel like you have to pray for all of them or any. Just if you feel called to pray for a certain thing, then I would love the help!

God Bless  ~^♫ Monica

Communication is more than just speaking: it’s listening!

Many couples assume that just because they talk a lot and have romantic feelings for each other, they’re communicating well too. NOT TRUE. Its possible to exchange a thousand words and never learn the persons real self. The realness that makes people an individual is what they believe of value. It’s so easy for girls to fall in love with what they imagine a guy is, and yet never see the real him.

Ouch. I just read this line, “The most important thing your lips can do right now isn’t kissing; it’s communicating.” Hmm… Clint and I have most certainly kissed and it’s not something that I would take back either. But there is always room to improve. Authentic communication is a skill that takes time, effort and determination to learn. So how can I communicate? The 1^st step is admiring that we’re NOT good at it. Ladies, its time to just humble ourselves before God and admit that we need His help!

So I am thinking…well when there is a group of girls together, you cannot get them to shut up and so why the heck teach them how to communicate even more? Lol well, women can talk about ideas, concepts, and principles; but we struggle communicated our true emotions. Personally I have a tendency to think, “If I tell people what I am feeling…then I am showing my weakness and I will just get hurt.” That is something that only God can help me with. He has brought wonderful people into my life and I am sure that you all have people that are God’s gift to you!

These people will help you open up and allow God to work through you! The guiding line that we should use in communication is to treat others with holiness and sincerity and to make an informed and wise decision. We also must remember that our standard should not be perfection, but constant growth! So how do we do this?

1.      Communication problems are usually heart problems: God tells us in Luke 6:45 that the words we speak and the way we communicate is rooted in out inner person! So what are you saying to your fellow brothers?

2.      Your ears are most important communication tool: We always think that if we just get out what we have to say that we have communicated what needs to happen. No, talking is a two-way-relationship, isn’t it? Or do you talk to yourself?

3.      Good communication doesn’t happen by accident: This is something that BOTH people have to be willing to work at. It is the men’s job to initiate the activities AND the communication also! But remember that commication should not be formal or forced but a natural part of the relationship. Just let it come easy!

4.      The absence of conflict doesn’t equal good communication: The goal is not to avoid conflict but learn to work through it and resolve it in a way that honors God. So here are some tips for conflict resolutions…

v     Learn to express your feelings and frustrations HONESTLY but with accusing or attacking the other person (Pro 11:9).

v     Choose words, expressions and tone of voice that are kind. (Pro 15:1)

v     Don’t exaggerate, distort, or stretch the truth and try to avoid extreme words like “never” and “always” (Eph 4:25)

v     Give actual and specific examples and stay away from generalities.

v     Commit yourself to seeking a solution instead of just venting off steam (Romans 12: 17-21)

v     Listen to what the other person is saying, feeling and needing. Realize their side (James 1:19)

v     Refuse to indulge bitterness, anger, withdrawal, or arguments (Eph 4:26)

v     Don’t hesitate to acknowledge your own failures, and ask for forgiveness (Luke 17: 3-4)

v     Keep talking and asking questions until you are sure that you both understand clearly what the other is saying and feeling (Roman 14:19)

v     Train you mouth and heart until you can say the right thing in the right way for the right reasons!

5.       Motive is more important than technique: Godly motive should be our motive and not selfish desires. God wants us to serve and sincerely love others- to build up, encourage, and benefit them!

Ok so now that we are informed on how to communicate to each other, we must still remember to guard our hearts and our brothers too. “Don’t write a check with you mouth that you body can’t check.” In other words, “Don’t make a promise that you don’t intend to keep.”

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Love to all and God bless ~^♫ Monica

PS. Proverbs 24:26 “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips!”

How can I guard my friendships, fellowships and my romance?

This is a tricky question but honestly I think that its like walking on a tight-rope. Picture this- you are the performer on the rope. The rope is fellowship (which is a better goal than marriage). Each of your arms are spread out in the air and you must keep your arms even or you will fall. Your arms represent the balance between friendship and romance. It’s very hard at times but we have to remember to not let romance outweigh the friendship part of the relationship.

We also must remember to not only guard our hearts but be very careful with guy’s hearts too. They are not insensitive beasts. They have true, deep and sincere feelings (just like us.) So how do you we do this?

PACE~ Don’t try to become best friends in the 1^st week. Just like any other friendship, this one takes time and consistent investment to develop. Don’t rush or try to force your way into their lives. Take your sweet time!

FOCUS~ Remember that at the beginning of the friendship you need to make it your goal to not become emotionally dependent on them (this is a hard one). So am I saying to not invest emotions in them? Heck no. The focus will change as the relationship deepens. You’ll earn access to each other’s hearts overtime!

SPACE~ The amount of time you think about a guy always increases as you get to know and like them more. But you have to remember to not be threatened by other relationships that you or he has. Remember that premature exclusivity I your relationship can cause both of you to depend on it more than is wise. But (luckily) as the relationship progresses you will make more and more time for each other but this should be done at a slow and natural pace!

Friendship- deepen your friendship first and the rest will follow!

Fellowship~ as your relationship deepens it needs to be based on a spiritual foundation!

Romance!!!! This should not be the main goal, but a time in which you can show your feelings!

Note: REMIND EACH OTHER TO FIND YOUR SOUL SATISFACTION IN GOD

Have a blessed day~ love you all_ ~^♫ Monica

Ps. Clint just called me a lil bit ago from work to tell me that he is thinking about me and he misses me! Ahhhhhhh awwwwwwwwwww what a sweetie (do you see how hard it is for me to not go into a really deep and serious relationship? That’s why I have to read books to remind myself b/c he is such a amazing person!)